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The Fun Glossary

Welcome!

Every week, the Fun Max team highlights a new psychological term to help William & Mary's students flourish. Our hope as student Wellness Ambassadors is that the campus community will use this information to be proactive about their wellbeing.

Weekly Terms

The Weekly Terms

Affective/Cognitive Empathy What are affective and cognitive empathy? Empathy is a term that is often used colloquially, but it has two major components. Affective empathy is when we feel the emotions that others feel - we mirror their sadness or excitement as we perceive it. Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand someone else’s perspective and comprehend where their emotions are coming from. Both components can play important roles in our ability to act with compassion toward others. How can empathy make us happier? Empathy is a powerful tool in strengthening interpersonal relationships, which in turn makes us happier! Empathy is not just a personality trait, but a skill that can be learned with time and effort. Practicing active listening, using your imagination, and being aware and mindful of the people around you strengthens empathy. Meditation can help build this mindfulness, as well as simply giving others your full attention. Fun Max does his best to be empathetic: even if he disagrees with someone, he listens to them, stays completely engaged, and tries to put himself in their position. Fun Max may still disagree, but his empathy helps him respond with compassion and respect. This makes his connections with others stronger, which helps him have fun!

Awe What is awe? Have you ever been filled with nostalgia for a time when the smallest things filled you with wonder? Have you ever seen the sheer and simple joy in a small child’s face and felt oddly jealous? Awe is this elusive appreciation of the scope of our experiences. We might experience awe looking at the stars or a beautiful view, watching a talented performer or athlete, or witnessing the capacity for selflessness in others. The world is is filled with a litany of awe inspiring experiences to stop and appreciate. How can awe make us happier? Awe helps us to experience joy and gratitude, as well as encourages us to be mindful of the wonderful details in the world around us. Awe is also related to curiosity, creativity, critical thinking, and generosity. People who regularly experience awe experience higher well-being and a lower risk for depression and certain diseases. Fun Max often feels awe - for example, about his shower: how weird is it that we can make it rain warmly inside??? These experiences of wonder and appreciation (and sometimes a little confusion) help Fun Max appreciate life.

Benefit Finding What is benefit finding? Benefit finding is a skill that involves finding the positive aspects of a negative situation or experience. This positive coping mechanism helps decrease the negative impact of a stressful experience and promotes learning and growth. It is important to note that honoring our reactions to life experiences is essential, but for some mild annoyances, it can be useful to also see the opportunities within. How can Benefit Finding make us happier? We can practice benefit finding by looking for opportunities and things we are grateful for even though we may be upset. For example, Fun Max was looking forward to getting lunch with a friend, but they had to cancel at the last minute. He might be bummed to have lunch alone, but he can also look at the positive aspects of the situation. He could see the canceled lunch as extra time to catch up on work, call his family, or join some other friends he hasn’t talked to in a while. He could also recognize that he has been really busy and be grateful for some moments alone to enjoy his chicken nuggets.

Coping Strategies What are coping strategies? Everyone experiences uncomfortable or upsetting emotions, sometimes big and sometimes small. Coping strategies are helpful ways of navigating these emotions in ways that are positive or neutral in order to manage our reactions and focus on our values. There are many effective coping strategies in existence, and the strategies that work best for each person are unique. Some good examples of simple coping strategies are taking deep breaths, journaling, meditating, squeezing and relaxing your muscles, doing a little exercise, listening to music, and talking to a caring person in your life.  How can coping strategies help us? Although some coping strategies may seem simple, in the heat of the moment, it can be easy to forget that there are ways to manage our feelings. Being anxious, upset, stressed, or angry can cloud how we would usually think. Having go-to coping strategies doesn’t make the negative emotions go away, but helps us manage them in ways that are meaningful and useful to us. For example, if Fun Max has a lot of assignments coming up, he may feel stressed, anxious, and upset that he has to miss time with his friends to study. All of these uncomfortable feelings can build and feel very overwhelming. However, Fun Max can help keep the overwhelm at bay by taking some deep breaths, taking breaks to go on short walks, and talking to a trusted friend. This helps Fun Max focus on what matters to him, instead of losing time ruminating on how uncomfortable he might feel.

Delayed Gratification What is Delayed Gratification? It is worth the wait!  It is with delayed gratification at least.  Delayed gratification is the idea of delaying an immediate positive outcome in favor of receiving an even better reward later.  In opposition to delayed gratification is instant gratification where you act on the impulse of immediate pleasure seeking.  Research points to five domains of gratification delay you can engage in food, physical pleasures, social interactions, money, and achievement.  How to engage with Delayed Gratification? Delayed Gratification is an investment in you! This could be anything from putting money in a bank and letting it collect interest or deciding to not watch another episode of a TV show in favor of studying to get a grade you are proud of.  Any area of life where you can focus on your long-term goals and personal values is a great place to start!  For example, Max decided to delay gratification by pushing back the desire to quit at hockey practice and instead keep training to be the best hockey player he can be!

Emotional Agility What is emotional agility? Emotional agility is the ability to recognize emotions and approach them with curiosity, without letting them take control. Everyone has negative or unhelpful thoughts and emotions, but the way we interact with those thoughts can have a huge impact on our wellbeing. To escape the pattern of ruminating and trying to push away uncomfortable thoughts requires emotional agility, where these thoughts are accepted but do not control behavior. How can we develop emotional agility? You can develop emotional agility first by simply noticing your thought patterns for what they are: angry thoughts, self-deprecating thoughts, stressed thoughts - and label them as such, just thoughts. Next, allow yourself to feel your emotions with acceptance. Lastly, act in accordance with your values after you are able to create some distance from the strength of the emotion. If the Canes lose a hockey game, Fun Max might feel really frustrated, but emotional agility would let him accept that he is upset without taking it out on others, or letting it ruin the rest of his day.

Emotion Focused Coping What is emotion focused coping? Sometimes things are out of our control and there’s no way to solve a certain problem. This can be really frustrating! Instead of trying to solve the situation, a helpful thing to do is manage the emotions that the situation brings. This does not mean hiding or ignoring the emotions, but instead, approaching them in a healthy way. Some examples of emotion focused coping could be journaling, meditation, acceptance, or talking to a caring person. How can we use emotion focused coping? Emotion focused coping helps us to manage outcomes that we have no control over. For example, Fun Max is really excited to go on a trip to see a friend who lives across the country, but a bad storm delays his flight. Fun Max is disappointed and frustrated because he is losing some of the limited time he was really looking forward to. He decides to write down how he’s feeling - it certainly doesn’t fix the problem, but it makes him feel a bit better to have his thoughts down on paper, and recognize that he has no control. He can then be a bit more relaxed and make the most of what is left of his trip.

Flow What is flow? Have you ever been doing something you loved and lost all track of space and time? Flow, coined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, is used to describe a sense of total immersion and engagement in an activity. Flow activities are enjoyable, and challenging, and they deliver a sense of purpose. Flow is also referred to as optimal experience - engaging in flow regularly allows more opportunities for meaning, happiness, and fun! How can we engage in more flow? Flow can come from a variety of different activities depending on what is personally motivating and challenging. People in flow states are using their skills in a way that pushes them in an engaging activity. By recognizing and devoting time to the activities that create flow for us, we can create more engagement and fulfillment in our lives. When Fun Max plays hockey with friends, it feels like time is flying by! He gets to challenge himself to improve while also connecting with people who are important to him - which makes his day a lot more fun!

Fundamental Attribution Error What is Fundamental Attribution Error? Has that lazy classmate of yours still not done their part of the group project? But you know you were late to lecture because your car got stuck behind a colonial horse and buggy on Richmond Road. Fundamental Attribution Error is our tendency to blame others’ actions on their personal failings while seeing that our own actions are often the result of situational factors. Frustration with others for their actions or frustration for not understanding yours can be a major roadblock to our wellbeing. Escaping Fundamental Attribution Error  Recognizing when we are engaging in these likely incorrect assumptions about others is the first step to creating a more balanced outlook. The best part about factoring FAE into our daily lives is that events don’t change, but our perspective does. In other words, understanding FAE gives us more control over how interactions affect our wellbeing. So, the next time Fun Max gets cut off while driving, he’ll just tell himself that the person probably needed to get somewhere in a hurry. It doesn't’t change that he got cut off, but it makes it less likely to ruin his day.

Grit What is grit? It’s a marathon, not a sprint… at least with grit it is. The concept of grit can be broken down into finding a passion and putting sustained effort into it. Grit was introduced into academic spaces by Angela Duckworth as a personal characteristic that predicts success when it matters most: when there are high stakes and personal investments. Grit isn’t simply talent, luck, or giftedness; it is a skill that needs to be cultivated over time. Time and time again, studies have shown that the grittier you are, the more successful you will be. How can I become grittier? Start by finding your passion. Take that yoga class, write that poem, and bake that cake! Whatever you are passionate about, pursue it! And keep pursuing it. Even when obstacles present themselves (and they will), rededicate yourself to your craft. Because your progress over perfection is what matters in the long run.

Growth Mindset What is a Growth Mindset? Wait watering my brain and pointing it toward the sun will grow my mind? Not quite, but a growth mindset can foster your success as a student and improve your wellbeing. Carol Dweck introduced the concept of a growth mindset, the belief that our mental abilities are not fixed and have the capacity to adapt to new challenges, and the opposite, a fixed mindset, where mental faculties and abilities are unable to change. A growth mindset is possible because of a previous Fun Glossary term: neuroplasticity! It’s all about how you mentally frame a situation or setback! How to cultivate a Growth Mindset? A growth mindset is not something you either have or don’t have, it is something you have to work at. Say for example Fun Max did poorly on a test and is feeling down. If he had a fixed mindset, he might believe that he isn’t very smart in that subject and doesn't’t have the ability to do well in that class. However, if he mentally reframes the situation as a minor setback and channels a growth mindset, he knows he can crush the next test by adjusting his study strategy. Like Fun Max, you can take on challenges with a growth mindset that can improve your academic performance and general outlook on life!

Hedonic Treadmill What is the Hedonic Treadmill? The hedonic treadmill is the human tendency to continually chase one source of pleasure after the other. The novelty of a source of happiness fades, and we often find ourselves chasing good feelings that don’t last. Comparison, material objects, and sensory experiences tend to have short happiness lifespans, causing our search for happiness to become a sprint in place. So if after eating lots of donuts and buying all of the coolest new shoes, you don’t feel any happier, you may find yourself stuck on the hedonic treadmill. How can we escape the Hedonic Treadmill? If we think about our wellbeing as a numeric value from 1 to 10, hedonistic purchases, such as buying those new shoes, may cause momentary spikes in happiness. For example, if your base happiness is a 5 out of 10, a new purchase may shoot you up to 7 for a few days, but before too long, you’re back down to 5. Our time is better spent trying to raise our base level of happiness because that has a longer-lasting effect. There’s no single trick to do that but Fun Max encourages everybody to find out what works for them. For example, Fun Max was having a rough week and he thought buying a new hockey stick may console him, but he was actually better served to go to yoga and work up a sweat.

Internalizing/Externalizing Behaviors What are internalizing/externalizing behaviors? Internalizing and externalizing behaviors are unhealthy ways of dealing with uncomfortable situations and emotions. When we internalize, we keep our emotions inside and blame ourselves. We may withdraw from our friends or things we like to do, try to overcontrol our lives, or ruminate on our feelings. When we externalize, we push how we feel onto the world around us and blame others. This might cause us to become angry or aggressive with the people in our lives. Neither of these are effective for dealing with tough situations. How can we avoid internalizing/externalizing behaviors? The major problem with both internalizing and externalizing behaviors is blame - directed at ourselves or others. When we look at problems without the lens of blame, we can deal with them in more healthy ways. For example, if Fun Max studies a lot but does poorly on an exam, he may externalize by blaming the professor for impossible questions. He may also internalize and blame himself for not being smart enough. Neither of these are productive ways of thinking, and neither of them are necessarily true. Fun Max might talk to a friend about how he is disappointed, and then go to office hours so that he can improve on the next exam. Blame isn’t necessary for Fun Max to move forward and succeed - plus he’ll feel better without it!

Naive Realism What is Naive Realism? Naive realism is our misguided tendency to believe we see the world objectively - as it actually is. In reality, our perception of the world is distorted by our emotions, experiences, biases. No two people see the world in the same way, but naive realism causes each to think that they can see the unbiased truth. This can easily lead to interpersonal conflict, if each believes that their view is without a doubt the correct one. This can also feed into individual catastrophizing tendencies, if one believes their emotion tinted reality to be unfiltered. How can thinking about naive realism make us happier? Awareness of the human tendency toward naive realism can help our relationships to flourish and to ground our perception of reality. Recognizing that who we are clouds our perception can help us to engage in more effective empathy. For example, if Fun Max doesn’t understand why a barbeque sauce stain on his friend’s shirt made her so upset (because to him it isn’t a big deal at all), he can realize that his biases lead him to his conclusions. Knowing that his friend is operating out of a different context can help him empathize and be a better friend. Awareness of his biases may also help Fun Max recognize when his emotions are interfering with reality.

Negativity Bias What is Negativity Bias? Ever had a good day that was ruined by one bad thing? That’s because of negativity bias! All humans are engineered to respond to and focus on negative stimuli more than positive ones. In fact, it can take up to five positive interactions to outweigh a single bad one in our minds. In other words, being insulted once has the same impact on our wellbeing as being complimented five separate times. No wonder we all remember that one time we embarrassed ourselves in middle school! How do we counteract Negativity Bias? Luckily, being aware of Negativity Bias is already half the battle! Recognizing our mind’s tendencies while they happen helps mitigate their impacts on us. For example, the next time Fun Max cooks dinner for himself and his friends, instead of focusing on how terrible a cook he is, he should recognize that his brain is being mean to him and try his best to remember that he’s still getting to sit down and talk with his friends, (and that they’re polite enough to eat the food anyway).

Neuroplasticity What is neuroplasticity? A lot of us think that our brains stop developing after we turn 30. However, that isn't actually true! In the past decade, neuroscientists have learned that our brains are plastic, and can change throughout our entire lives. When we spend time practicing something new, our brains go through three phases of development. First, the chemicals in our brains change to aid short-term memory. After some more practice, our neurons start connecting to each other in different ways, making this new skill easier next time. Eventually, our brains get so used to these new skills, that they function in an entirely new way. How does Neuroplasticity affect our wellbeing? This newfound ability to train our brains means we can teach them to be happier and healthier. Our brains respond much more when trying to learn something that matters because we feel rewarded when we succeed. So, every time we try something new, we get immediate benefits, but we also make it easier to feel fulfilled the next time. For example, Fun Max began practicing gratitude journaling six months ago. At first, he'd feel really happy when he thought of three good things in his day. Within weeks, he found it easy to list ten things a day. Now, a few months later, his practice has become ingrained into his worldview!

Pessimism Bias What is pessimism bias? Pessimism bias is the human assumption that external events will go negatively. This bias goes beyond what is rational. In a study of 1,500 individuals, they were told that if a coin toss landed on heads, they would receive $10. They were told the coin would be tossed 10 times, then they were asked to predict how often the coin would land on heads. The average answer was 3.9 (despite the fact that the rational and mathematical average is 5) (Mansour et al. 2006). Isn’t that silly? This irrational, pessimistic bias can creep into our feelings about the world too, making us consistently expect worse than what is likely. How can we avoid pessimism bias? Acknowledging the presence and irrationality of pessimism bias is the first step to avoiding it. The most effective solution is to focus on facts, and not let fearful feelings cloud judgment about the future. For example, Fun Max is about to interview for an internship where he knows that they can only take half of the candidates. His pessimism bias causes him to feel like there’s no way he’ll get the position, so he shouldn’t even bother. But when he notices that he is focusing on feelings, not facts, he is able to reframe it correctly as a 50% chance, and give it his best shot!

Positive Psychology What is positive psychology? Positive Psychology, founded by Martin Seligman, is the scientific study of happiness and well-being. This field of psychology focuses on the human mind’s strengths, ability for improvement, and capacity to flourish. The field provides evidence based data on the strategies and habits that are proven to relate to a happier outlook on life. Positive psychology is pretty much what Fun Max is all about! Fun Max wants to help students learn some of these proven strategies to take care of themselves and their well-being. How can positive psychology make us happier? A lot of information floats around the internet and popular culture about what types of things make us happier. And as almost everyone deals with some kind of stress in their life, strategies to improve well-being sound pretty appealing. While different strategies might work for different people, positive psychology uses science to identify the strategies that are proven to work! Fun Max lists some of these evidence based strategies and concepts here - in the fun glossary! And sometimes he reads his own terms and remembers to implement a concept or two in his day… that’s what the glossary is for :)

Reactive Devaluation What is reactive devaluation? Reactive devaluation is a tendency that makes people avoid compromise during a disagreement. It causes each party to be suspicious and hesitant about what the other proposes. They tend to think that if a solution sounds good to the other party, they must be losing out in some unknown way and getting the worse end of the deal. This process of evaluating a compromise is often irrational and becomes a great barrier to agreement. How can learning about reactive devaluation make us happier? Fun Max and his roommate are having a dispute about his paper airplanes. Fun Max builds some epic paper models, but he keeps finding them crumpled up in the trash. After some disagreements, his roommate proposes a compromise - if Fun Max keeps his fun planes on his side of the room, he won’t crumple them up. Although this sounds fair, reactive devaluation makes Fun Max suspicious. Why would his roommate propose a plan if he wasn’t somehow getting the better end of the deal? But when Fun Max recognizes the real value compromise, he can agree to a deal that will make his relationship with his roommate more pleasant (and let his airplanes fly through clear skies).

Rosy Retrospection What is rosy retrospection? Rosy retrospection is our tendency to recall the past as a better time than the present. Several  psychological factors feed into this phenomena. Unpleasant memories from the past are encoded in a way that makes them less vivid, while the more positive memories remain strong. This experience can make the present pale in comparison to rose tinted memories. Rosy retrospection is similar to a sense of nostalgia, but focuses on the cognitive bias that causes the longing for the past. How can we use rosy retrospection to make us happier? While it’s nice to remember the past fondly, rosy retrospection can sometimes make the present feel disappointing, pulling us away from the here and now. Beyond that, it is a cognitive distortion, so it prevents objective evaluation. Sometimes, when Fun Max is overwhelmed with assignments, interviews, and the pressure that comes with having his face plastered all around campus, he misses a time when life was simple, and all he did was play with his toy dinosaurs and eat Uncrustables. However, Rosy Retrospection causes Fun Max to forget that he also got overwhelmed and upset when he was 6 years old - that life didn’t feel perfect then either. Not to mention, although Fun Max would have a ball with some dinos - it probably wouldn’t be as much fun to play with them for hours as he remembers it being. While acknowledging his feelings of overwhelm, Fun Max can also think about some of the things he enjoys and appreciates about the present.

Three Happy Lives What are the three happy lives? It is happiness your way!  Dr. Martin Seligman, a positive psychologists, outlines three distinct lives to live on the path to happiness: a pleasant life, a good life, and a meaningful life.  A pleasant life is lived by seeking out pleasure and avoiding discomfort, but often at a cost.  A goof life, on the other hand, focusses on honing in on one’s strengths and achieving flow.  Lastly, a meaningful life is about leading with your values in your actions in an authentic way to you!  The first two are subjective, but a meaningful life is unique to you and honors your own values. How can they make us happier? Pursuing any of the three happy lives could leave to happiness, but only a meaningful life will lead you feeling fulfilled.  Consider taking a Life Values Inventory and establish what matters to you and how you want to live your life.  Then, make an action plan about how to live your life with your values at the core of all of your actions.  Then, execute the plan!

Toxic Positivity What is toxic positivity? Too much of a good thing or not in the right way?  Toxic positivity is a common practice of dismissing emotions for the sake of being “positive” and “happy”. This often comes from a well intentioned place, but it can manifest to others as a lack of empathy. Instead of immediately offering advice to someone who is struggling, it is helpful to listen and show support to honor their feelings. Toxic positivity can also be applied internally if we tell ourselves that we should just be happy and not feel a certain way instead of giving ourselves space to feel our emotions. How can we avoid toxic positivity? If Fun Max’s friend is really upset about how she did on an exam, he might stay away from encouraging his friend that they’ll do better next time, or that it’s not the end of the world, or saying that “everything happens for a reason”. Instead, Fun Max can tell his friend he understands how that could be stressful and upsetting, and take some time to listen to his friend to show support instead of offering advice. And if Fun Max himself does poorly, he can honor his feelings of feeling upset before moving on to more action oriented strategies.